HOW TO RECONCILE A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP

Chaplain Doug Kinder

October 5, 2025

THE GOAL FOR EVERY CHRISTIAN

“Those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of goodness.” James 3:18 (NLT)

THE CAUSE OF CONFLICT: Sinfulness / Selfishness.

“What leads to strife, discord and feud, and how do conflicts, quarrels, and fighting originate among you? They arise from your own selfish and sinful desires that are always at war inside you. You are jealous and covet what others have… You burn with envy and anger and aren’t able to obtain the gratification you seek, so you fight and war. You don’t have because you don’t ask God.”  James 4:1-2 (Amp)

THE CURE: Reconciliation / Making Peace.

1. Make Peace With God.

“At one time you were far away from God and were His enemies because of the evil things you did and thought. But now, by means of the death of His son, God has made you His friends in order to bring you, holy, pure, and faultless, into His presence.”  Col. 1:21-22 (GN)

2. Ask God for Help.

“If you want to know what God wants you to do, ask Him, and He will gladly tell you.”  James 1:5 (LB)

3. Convene A Peace Conference.

“If you’re standing before the altar in the Temple, giving an offering to God, and you suddenly remember someone has something against you leave your offering there beside the altar. Go first and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your gift to God.”  Matt. 5:23-24 (NLT)

4. Start By Confessing My Part Of The Conflict.

“Why do you notice the little piece of dust in your friend’s eye, but you don’t notice the big piece of wood in your own eye? First take the wood out of your own eye. Then you will see clearly to take the dust out of your friend’s eye.”   Matt. 7:3,5 (NCV)

5. Listen For Their Hurt.

“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”  James 1:19 (NLT)

“…we must bear the ‘burden’ of being considerate of the doubts and fears of others…”  Rom. 5:10 (NIV)

6. Be Willing To Absorb The Pain.

“When we were unable to help ourselves, at the moment of our need, Christ died for us, although we were living against God.”  Rom. 5:6 (NCV)

“We were God’s enemies, but we were reconciled to Him through the death of His Son.”  Rom. 5:10 (NIV)

7. Emphasize Reconciliation, Not Resolution.

Reconciliation = reestablish the relationship

Resolution = resolve every issue

GOD’S GOAL FOR HIS CHURCH

“God has restored our relationship with Him through Christ, and has given us the ministry of restoring relationships. He did not hold people’s faults against them, and He has given us this message of restored relationships to tell others. We are Christ’s representatives…We beg you on behalf of Christ to become reunited with God.”   2 Cor. 5:18-20 (GW)

“God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.”  Matt. 5:9 (NLT)

WHO DO I NEED TO RECONCILE WITH?